Stupid Criminals in Self Storage

CJ Moore | Mar 30, 2011 @ 03:17 PM

If I were a thief – the fact that I use reasoning probably prohibits me from such a profession – but nonetheless, if I were a thief, a storage unit would not be at the top of my list for what to break into next.

To start, storage facilities are typically equipped with security cameras and you would think Rule No. 1 of thievery would be to go unnoticed. To his credit, the thief in this story had temporarily achieved that goal until he became a prisoner of his own stupidity.

Ronald E. Dennis, a 49 year-old man, attempted to burglarize a storage unit in St. Joseph, Mo., around 1 a.m. on Sunday and nearly pulled it off until the door of the unit he had broken in to closed and locked behind him. A security employee on patrol had noticed the door was slightly opened and proceeded to close and latch the door.

Ole’ Ronald must not have been planning on spending the night in the unit, as the security guard later heard noise coming from the unit as Dennis tried to break out. Unfortunately for Dennis, he was better at breaking in than breaking out.

Dennis was arrested on investigation of burglary. He had not been charged with burglary yet; however, he is being held on a probation/parole warrant. Shocking, that Dennis had run into trouble with the law prior to his genius burglary attempt.

Dennis claimed that he wasn’t planning on stealing anything; he was only looking for the missing strap to his favorite pair of overalls (see picture). OK, I made that part up, but I wouldn’t put it past this stupid criminal.

The lesson folks: Always make sure your storage unit door cannot close and lock behind you, and make sure to store your possessions at a storage facility with storage cameras in case the next attempted storage thief is smart enough not to let the door lock behind him.