Moving After a Breakup

Jon Fesmire | June 26, 2019 @ 8:07 AM

You and your partner have been living together for a while, but now you’re breaking up. Unfortunately, one of you will need to move out. What do you do if that’s you?

Let’s explore the basics of moving out after a breakup. Ideally, you and your former partner are respectful of each others’ space and belongings, and you can maintain the peace while you work on moving out.

Separate Your Things

As you look for a new place to live, pack your personal belongings and divide the things you purchased together. Self storage can be a helpful tool in this effort. Not only can it give you a staging ground for your move, it can allow you to get your own things into your own space.

Shipping Your Things

If you’re moving far away, such as back to your home town, you may decide to ship some of your belongings ahead of your trip.

In this case, make sure you get insurance on every box for the value of the items inside. Though USPS and other services generally do a great job of getting everything where it’s going, if a box gets lost, there’s a good chance you’ll never see it again. In the very least, you’ll want to be financially compensated for your lost belongings so you can replace them.

Find a New Place

There are a variety of good sites to check when looking for a new rental, or even a home to buy. These include Zillow, Rent.Com, and Apartments.Com, and Trulia. We also recommend checking Craigslist, where you can often find better prices. If your credit score is low, some places won’t rent to you, and others will require a larger deposit.

Make Time for Yourself

Make time for yourself away from your ex. If you’re still living with them in the short term, you may feel a lot of sadness and stress. Spend some time with friends and go do things you enjoy in between work, packing, and house hunting.

Set Aside Deposit Money

Hopefully, you have enough money in the bank for a deposit. If not, you’ll need to save it quickly, get help from friends or relatives, or look for an agency that can help. Call 211 and ask about agencies that provide rental or deposit assistance. If you find one and get approved, they will pay either part or all of your deposit. Chances are, they’ll pay it directly to the apartment manager when you move in, rather than giving you the check.

The Usual Steps

As with any move, there are certain steps you’ll need to take once you’ve secured a place to live. Contact friends, or hire movers, and let them know what day you plan to move out of your old place and into the new one. Remind your friends to be polite to your ex when they come to help.

Reserve your truck rental ahead of time. When you pick it up, get the optional insurance. If the truck suffers any damage, you want to be covered.

If Your Ex Is Moving

If you’re the one staying and your ex is moving out, be patient with them. They may even appreciate your help, if you’re getting along well enough. Be nice to their friends and anyone helping them.

Tough Cases

What if you and your ex can’t stand to be around each other?

In that case, do your best to find a friend or relative to live with. Take what you need. This will be tough, because you’ll probably have to leave most of your things behind and hope that your ex doesn’t damage them. Remember, your safety is more important than your belongings. Things can be replaced.

If you’re being abused, call the National Domestic Violence Hotline or find a local shelter that provides resources to victims of abuse.

Rent a storage unit, then arrange a time to go over and collect your things. You may want to bring a friend with you for emotional support and assistance. Depending on how much you have there, you may need to rent a truck for that day, and pack your belongings that same day. It can be tough, but it’s doable.

We hope this helps make this difficult time easier on you. Remember that this won’t last forever. Soon, you’ll find a new place and settle in.

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