Ben Franklin famously said that only two things in life are certain: death and taxes. But there’s one thing the Founding Father and polymath forgot, the third grand truth of reality: Everyone is just six degrees from Kevin Bacon.
Even in the storage industry.
To prove it, I’ve compiled a list of storage facilities that are all within six degrees of Kevin Bacon. Special thanks to the Oracle of Bacon for making my research a lot easier.
Manhattan Mini Storage
Located, as you might have guessed, in New York City, Manhattan Mini Storage had the misfortune of renting to one Jonathan Shaw, a tattoo artist employed by many celebrities, including Johnny Depp. In 2011, Shaw was arrested for illegally amassing a stash of guns, knives, and ammunition in his storage unit. Here’s how it relates to Kevin Bacon:
- Manhattan Mini Storage rented a unit to Jonathan Shaw
- Jonathan Shaw tattooed Johnny Depp
- Johnny Depp was in Ed Wood (1994) with Don Hood
- Don Hood was in End of the Line (1987) with Kevin Bacon
Uncle Bob’s Self Storage
Uncle Bob’s Self Storage regularly hosts signings and other events for famous athletes at their various facilities. Their location in North Richland Hills, Texas recently brought in Dallas Cowboys linebacker Sean Lee to sign autographs. Here’s the breakdown:
- Uncle Bob’s Self Storage hosted Sean Lee
- Sean Lee went to Pennsylvania State University, the alma mater of John Aniston (father of Jennifer Aniston)
- John Aniston was in Order Up (2007) with Illeana Douglas
- Illeana Douglas was in Stir of Echoes (1999) with Kevin Bacon
Self Storage Center
Self Storage Center could have been a movie star. As the setting of the comedy-horror film Self Storage (2013), the East Greenwich, Rhode Island facility was on the fast track to fame and celebrity. Unfortunately, the film was universally panned and scarcely attended. Maybe if Kevin Bacon was in it…
- Self Storage Center was the setting of Self Storage, starring Eric Roberts as the lead villain
- Eric Roberts was in The Hot Flashes (2013) with Emily D. Haley
- Emily D. Haley was in My Dog Skip (2000) with Kevin Bacon
Your Self Storage
In contrast to Self Storage Center, Your Self Storage starred in a classic: The Silence of the Lambs (1991). Unfortunately, the Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania facility recently went up for auction, so its days of fame may soon be gone.
- Your Self Storage was used in filming The Silence of the Lambs, starring Anthony Hopkins
- Anthony Hopkins was in Meet Joe Black (1998) with Eric Bruno Borgman
- Eric Bruno Borgman was in Mystic River (2003) with Kevin Bacon
Keeping in the cinematic vein, a couple of Budget Storage facilities in North Carolina were the setting of indie film Esposito (2011), a light-hearted romance about a man who buys a woman’s storage unit at auction and then uses what he finds to woo her. Even the indie circuit is never far from Kevin Bacon:
- Budget Storage is the setting of Esposito, starring Stephan Monteserin
- Stephan Monteserin was in The Last Passport (2009) with Toochukwu T.C. Anyachonkeya
- Toochukwu T.C. Anyachonkeya was in Iron Man Three (2013) with Nate Bynum
- Nate Bynum was in My Dog Skip (2000) with Kevin Bacon
Switzer’s Locker Room
When Barry Switzer retired from coaching professional football with the Dallas Cowboys, he made the obvious move any head coach would make: He started a chain of storage facilities. Switzer’s Locker Room operates 12 locations in Oklahoma, and, you guessed it, they’re less than six degrees from Kevin Bacon:
- Switzer’s Locker Room was founded by Barry Switzer
- Barry Switzer coached at the University of Oklahoma for 16 years
- Ed Harris attended the University of Oklahoma
- Ed Harris was in Apollo 13 (1995) with Kevin Bacon
Linkletter Self Storage
Another celebrity storage owner is late television host Art Linkletter, whose credits include CBS’s House Party and NBC’s People Are Funny. His storage facilities spread throughout the Los Angeles, California area. Unfortunately, Kevin Bacon was only ten when House Party ended, so he never had the chance to appear on Linkletter’s show.
- Linkletter Self Storage was founded by television host Art Linkletter
- Art Linkletter was in the documentary When the World Breaks (2010) with Paul Dooley
- Paul Dooley was in Telling Lies in America (1997) with Kevin Bacon
Ironbound Road Mini Storage
NFL quarterback Michael Vick is famous – and infamous – for a number of things, but his storage unit that went up for auction at Ironbound Road Mini Storage seems to have slipped under the radar. The Williamsburg, Virginia facility sold the unit back in 2008, after Vick declared bankruptcy while serving a 23-month prison sentence on dog fighting charges. Kevin Bacon, of course, would not approve.
- Ironbound Road Mini Storage auctioned storage unit rented by Michael Vick
- Michael Vick plays for the New York Jets, an NFL franchise owned by Woody Johnson
- In 2009, Woody Johnson married former actress Suzanne Ircha
- Suzanne Ircha was in Pontiac Moon (1994) with Keith MacKechnie
- Keith MacKechnie was in Frost/Nixon (2008) with Kevin Bacon
Eighteenth Street Self Storage
In another tale of scandal and intrigue, Eighteenth Street Self Storage received a shock in 2009 when police raided one of their units rented by the doctor of then recently deceased Michael Jackson. Dr. Conrad Murray was suspected of manslaughter, so police searched his Houston, Texas storage unit and office. He was eventually convicted and served two years in prison. Somewhere in all the mess, we inevitably come to Kevin Bacon.
- Eighteenth Street Self Storage rented a unit to Dr. Conrad Murray
- Dr. Murray was employed by Michael Jackson
- Michael Jackson was in Moonwalker (1988) with Joe Pesci
- Joe Pesci was in JFK (1991) with Kevin Bacon
There you have it, folks. People have said that Kevin Bacon is the center of the entertainment universe, but I’d wager he’s the center of the self storage universe as well. No matter who you are or where you’re located, it’s likely you can count on one hand the number of steps between yourself and the famous actor.
How is your storage facility linked to Kevin Bacon?