Moving back into your parents’ house during summer breaks from college can be hard. Eight months out of the year, you don’t have to answer to anyone and now you have your parents on your back like you’re in high school all over again. But maybe you want to appease your parents and not expose them to your college lifestyle because they’d probably try to meddle. They do always know what’s right. You know what you need? A storage unit. It’s cheap and easier than hauling all your junk back to your hometown anyway. Here’s what you should store during summer break:
1. Your books Books are extremely heavy, making transportation rough. Plus, if you bring them home, your parents might start reading them and quizzing you on that religions class that you only went to half the time but somehow managed a B in. It’s a lose-lose situation so just go ahead and store your books.
2. Your hookah You could tell your parents a million times that you only smoke tobacco out of it and they’ll never believe you. It’s confusing, right? You’re smoking something as the water bubbles. Or maybe they just rightfully think it isn’t healthy for you. Either way, it’s best just to leave that in a storage unit during those months. Otherwise, you might find it broken in a trashcan while your mom tries to convincingly tell you it was an accident. She was just dusting and it fell and shattered. I bet.
3. Inappropriate fraternity/sorority shirts As funny as those might be in your social circle, your parents probably won’t think the keg stand puns are cute. They might tell you that you can’t wear them around the house and you wasted precious room in your suitcase (or trash bag). Or they won’t say anything but you’ll know they are secretly judging you. It’s best to leave the swag behind.
4. New wall décor So you picked up that sweet Bob Marley poster at Walmart because it was cheap and everyone in your dorm has one? That’s cool but you know what your parents think of when they see a Marley poster? Marijuana. Avoid many awkward conversations about an addiction you don’t have by leaving it in your storage unit.
5. Pictures of you and your new friends out on the town
We get it. College is great. A good portion of the college experience is the independence you get and therefore the ability to learn from your mistakes like an accidental Thursday hangover. You’re going to go out with your friends but unless your mom is Lorelai Gilmore, she probably doesn’t want to know how you’re spending that food and emergency money she’s sending you. Just leave all your new pictures in your storage unit ready to go up on the walls of your three bedroom, five person apartment when you get back.
Keeping your parents in the dark might seem like a lie by omission but it’s for their benefit. Storage facilities in college towns usually offer summer specials so go take advantage of those and stay a kid in your parents’ hearts forever.